"Maybe the reason it was so nice, was because it was the end"

I'm not really sure where to start, I have been wanting to write a blog for a while now, just to process thoughts and feelings, but kept putting it off, like I do with many things in life. Procrastination is fast becomming my best friend, but not a welcome one.
I expected to start this when my life was free of drama, when I was feeling no other emotion but complete and utter happiness and when I was rid of confusion and upset but it seems it has been the total opposite. Not to say I am miserable, far from it, but I am also not blissfully happy, but is anyone ever? I feel like I have been pretty close at times, if not there, but that was a while ago now, and it was helped by another person who I no longer have contact with, which is a good thing I think, we have to move on sometimes and discover a new kind of happiness, with new kinds of people and that's just what happened here, or rather what needs to happen, what will happen but these things take time. You could say I am in a slightly determined mood right now, or on the verge of one, after a long talk with my Mum later I should be fine, she always sorts me out good and proper! You see, a blast from the quite recent past made an appearance late last night, I think it had a positive impact, but I couldn't be too sure, I have no idea how I feel about it, hense why I need a mothers opinion, it was sort of an ending to a very long chapter, I think it is an end anyway, I often think it's the end and it never is, it hasn't been for the past three or so years, but with my own happiness in mind this time I think it probably should be.